Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Consulting " crazies " for a hair follicle test

ok I get some crazy shit from time to time and in general the main reason i ask the questions regarding a hair treatment that I do is to keep it short and simple . 

When i use to do phone consults i would waste 30 minutes per call and answer the same shit over and over. so I put up a list of specific questions I NEED to prescribe needed treatment for people who do not have pre test levels  . almost anything else is irreverent . 

These are the questions i ask and why ( generally) 

When is Approx test date ? need to know how much time you have,   this correlates to last use vs test date and amount  to be clean by said date 

What is the detailed use over past 3 months :    (  List each drug and the amounts in grams for each Month for the last 3 months ,   do not use street terms or  give vague answers )  treatment is mainly based on average grams per MONTH window 

When was last use ?  this lets me know if you are currently clean based on what was used or if last use was yesterday and you use meth i know your not going to get clean 

Do You Have Naturally curly hair ? what color ?  HOW LONG  ?  heavy treatments on tight curly hair who used cocaine may need to be advised it may relax curls 

IF  regular THC use is included , what is your  activity  level  / weight  
  ( very thin or very active  vs. normal to heavy with no sport activity ) only THC take weeks to month to detox  and how long is all based on ones activity levels 

Any chemical treatments done to hair in last month or so ? i can not let you use hair razor if you already performed some crazy chemical application like heavy bleaching or perm chemicals as it will make hair fall out 

ZIP CODE in case you only have a few days express is not available in all areas dont want you wasting time if your not getting it on time 


this is a rare example of what I deal with   and why i only do e mail consultations 


A friend is concerned you might be some law enforcement front (or non-affiliate providing IP addresses and other information to law enforcement in some way, shape or form) to get people to confess under the ruse of providing a guaranteed drug test beating hair product unlike any other on the web.

It's kind of hard to deny what's tantamount to a signed confession stating exactly what you did when and in what quantity. I'm inclined to agree since you want your answers crystal clear (no pun intended) using no street terms or vague language and, most damningly, don't mention anywhere on your website that you are not affiliated with law enforcement in any way.

Our interest is entirely inquisitive now that marijuana has been legalized for private use in California. We'd like to know whether either of us will be investigated for suspected drug use if one of us poses a hypothetical situation a proposed user of your hair product(s) based upon prior use which was treated via rehab and a cold, hard dose of reality with the ultimate goal of obtaining proof positive whether your product actually works.

We suspect we won't receive a response based on this criteria but we assure you We have every intent of purchasing your product once we have your explicit assurances that (a) your company and/or website is/are not affiliated with any law enforcement agency of any kind anywhere on Earth or serving as a front for one, not working with one or more and/or knowingly and/or willingly supplying any information of any kind to any third party at any point in time relating to our inquiry or purchase, and (b) that it is not illegal in the state of California for us to purchase or possess your product.

We don't know what repercussions will befall us at either the information gathering or purchasing stages as neither of us have never run afoul of the law before. Each of us beat our addictions, so we have a vested interest in investigating these products for ourselves to determine which actually work and which are bunk, not to "spread the word" to abet anyone in defrauding a legitimate or legally administered drug test, but whether there actually exists anything that can and, if not, most certainly "spread the word" to stop people from getting false hope that doing anything other than quitting their drug use completely is the only sure-fire way of obtaining a negative test result.

Your blog site is unapologetically boastful tossing down what looks to be legitimate science and scientific method, vigorously debunking DIY methods. This makes our mission that much more imperative.

If you choose not to respond and/or to not sell us (me specifically) your product after being so upfront and honest it will have to be interpreted as an admission of guilt to one or more of the aforestated speculations and we'll move on to the next product and the next until we have sufficient data to render as informed an opinion as possible on the various products out there with comprehensive list of the various states' policies on the purchase and possession of drug test cheating products, "spreading the word" in an effort to curtail the practice of trying to beat the system ultimately.

One personal aspect that touches us to the core is the idea that any legitimate law enforcement agency could actually be baiting desperate users trying to make good with their lives in their own fucked up way who haven't yet experienced the black hole of despair and loneliness awaiting them should they persist in their extracurricular activities. That's all that matters in the end, protecting people from themselves helping them to do themselves the biggest favor of their lives whether they use to numb themselves from pain, are involved in a relationship pulling them deeper in despite their better judgment, or simply lost souls trying to do their level best to deal with the horrific realities of life.

ou provide no evidence whatsoever that your product cannot be purchased without said consultation and no guarantees of safety so nothing factual will be provided. We're only interested in obtaining the product, unconcerned what could just be your efforts at limiting liability. You already provide testimony regarding potential side-effects in spine-tingling detail that, you have to admit, sounds almost as fake as a fair number of your customer reviews. To be fair, it could very well be true and we suspect it is. Further, a distinct sub-sect of those reviews reveal what could be a whole 'nother layer to the services you provide, almost like you may be ministering to customers encouraging they quit their self-destructive practices completely.

So, to put your mind at ease, we will not under any circumstances hold your company or any of its employees responsible for any discomfort or damage of any degree as a result of using your product(s). It's baloney to not provide a reference chart providing concrete examples of how many applications one should administer and how significantly treatment for marijuana differs from, say, meth or opiates. The product doesn't change, just the use and their are a finite number of mitigating factors easily broken down in chart format. No one needs to be this specific unless you're using the information for other purposes since a legitimate site would institute provisions to better guarantee anonymity. Your provide no science to back this claim of necessary detail up, just innuendo and anecdotes.

We want to believe in the veracity of your well constructed website fa├žade. We don't believe we're putting ourselves at significant risk fudging facts as the worst that could happen, as you clearly illustrate throughout your product pitch, is someone's hair will get fried. It grows back and only a complete moron would continue to apply in the face of any adverse reaction. We could very well be morons for entertaining the idea that you're legitimate and that your claims amount to more than harassment by local law enforcement  who are overburdened enough dealing with real criminals to have to make an example of people who's ultimate goal is to make their lives better in a most unorthodox fashion. We have nothing but time and feel we're in a position to positively influence net results without interfering with any agency of any sort. You might see a boost in sales, who knows, no judgments yet until we have more data at our disposal to find out if we're ever going to do something more useful with our lives and heinous odyssey relating to personal drug use.

When is Approx test date ? Could you quote for 30, 45, 60 and 90 days?

What is the detailed use over past 3 months :    (  List each drug and the amounts in grams for each Month for the last 3 months ,   do not use street terms or  give vague answers )

Let's say marijuana, whatever constitutes a small rolled joint every other day - looks like 1 gram from marijuana.com - with use stopping a month and a half before the hypothetical testing dates listed above.

Same for Adderall daily use of maybe 40mg stopping a month and a half before hypothetical test dates listed above. Never actually used it so got the "standard" dosage off a "straight dope" website. Seemed legitimate.When was last use ?

Let's say last use will be a month and a half before the hypothetical testing date. Come on, your questions read like an arrest report. Right? You only need to know how long between when use will stop and the hypothetical testing date according to your website.

Do You Have Naturally curly hair ? what color ?  HOW LONG  ? ( inches)
Personally identifying characteristic, ingenious - subtle, few would suspect foul play here. Let's say light blonde 1in and African-American hair 1/2in naturally curly. Those seem to be the most disparate extremes yielding significantly different results

IF regular THC use is included, what is your  activity level/weight (very thin or very active  vs. normal to heavy with no sport activity.)

Let's use your examples for marijuana very thin/very active and normal to heavy/no sport activity for Adderall (unless that's a stupid way to answer a question pertaining to only THC - that's the active ingredient in pot, right? At least the one that's tested for?
Any chemical treatments done to hair in last month or so ?
Would like to find out for no for marijuana and yes for Adderall.
*     *     *     *     *

That's it. Time to find out if you're going to target me for police investigation. Basic inquiry may not be enough, though who knows despite there being zero intent on our part to purchase for purposes of defrauding any legitimate or legally administered test of any kind. Test kits at home will suffice purchased with our own money on our own time with no one that is not a legal, consenting adult present and/or tested.

This isn't an admission that we intend to actually use the drugs in question and we do not under any circumstances intend to commit an illegal act - if purchase of your product constitutes a crime in California then we will not be purchasing, having never intended to break the law in the first place either directly or indirectly. It's up to you to advise us so we can cross check the veracity of your statement and decide for ourselves if satisfying our own curiosity is worth the risk.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you are legitimate and it doesn't break any laws you have a customer. If not oh well, we tried to do something admittedly unorthodox the right way and are, in our minds, guilty of little more than being stupid enough to respond to a bait-and-switch scam. If that's somehow enough to initiate legal action against us regardless of how much we tried to confirm somewhere online whether what we're doing is intrinsically wrong, as it were.

We're starting with purportedly "the best" and dare you to prove us wrong and prove you're not the fraud you claim so vociferously not to be.

And yes, this is our long-winded way of doing our best to inquire without actually getting ourselves in trouble for aforestated reasons. It's not like that part isn't obvious. Would rather be ridiculously cautious than blithely ignorant, which again still could be the case. Like we said, we have nothing but time but are absolutely serious about not wasting your time or ours.